Recently, the Desiring God community received public attention by claiming that empathy was not something to be desired (no pun intended), but rather it was in fact a sin. Mark Wingfield’s article “Have You Heard the One about Empathy Being a Sin?,” draws attention to the debate and notes the disdain that Rigney, Piper, and others hold for the practice of empathy.
The source behind Wingfield’s article is a piece written by Joe Rigney in 2019. Joe Rigney—the president of Bethlehem College and Seminary, teacher for DesiringGod.org, and pastor of Cities Church—uses the form of C. S. Lewis’s classic tale The Screwtape Letters to depict empathy as a sinful practice. He argues that compassion suffers with another person, while empathy suffers in them.[1] Rigney’s problems with empathy are further noted in a podcast with Doug Wilson where he notes, “Empathy is the sort of thing that you’ve got when someone is drowning, or they’re in quicksand, and they’re sinking. And what empathy wants you to do is jump into the quicksand with them…Problem is, you’re both now sinking.”[2] Sympathy, in contrast, is dragging the person out while safely standing on solid ground. James White later ignited Twitter with his comments, “When you start with man as image-bearing creature of God, you can understand why sympathy is good, but empathy is sinful. Do not surrender our mind to the sinful emotional response of others.”[3]
The question, however, remains unsettled: If Screwtape were to write to Wormwood, would he truly enlist empathy as a tool of Satan or a tool of God? I would argue that empathy is not only a tool of God, but rather empathy is the cornerstone upon which compassion and sympathy are built. To argue this point, first, we will define empathy as it is properly understood. Then, we will look at biblical references calling Christians to empathize with others. Finally, we will peer into Scriptures that show divine manifestations of empathy towards us.
Empathy Defined: What It Is and What It Isn’t
The first step in evaluating any logical claim is to define the terms. Peter Kreeft rightly says that if a “term is ambiguous, it should be defined, to make it clear. Otherwise, the two parties to the argument may thing they are talking about the same thing when they are not.”[4] This is especially true for our endeavor. The reason that Rigney, Piper, White, and others ascribe empathy as a sin is because they have not properly understood empathy, or at least the importance of the practice. Let us first define what empathy is.
Empathy is understood as sharing in one another’s emotional experience. But it is more than that. It means that you try to put yourself in the person’s shoes. You try to understand the argument that the person is making, or at least try to understand the person’s perspective. It sure seems like the world could use more of it. As one with slight genetic ties to the Cherokee Indian tribe of northwestern North Carolina, I often heard the phrase, “you never know what someone is going through unless you walk a mile in his moccasins.” The phrase actually originates a poem written by Mary T. Lathrap in 1895 entitled Walk a Mile in His Moccasins. The poem begins by saying, “Pray, don’t find fault with the man that limps, or stumbles along the road unless you have worn the moccasins he wears, or stumbled beneath the same load.”[5] Lathrap reveals the importance of empathy when interacting with those who experience trouble in life.
Empathy encourages us to make an emotional connection with the person in need. D. H. Stevenson defines empathy as follows:
Empathy is generally understood to mean sharing in another person’s emotional experience in a particular situation. To be empathic we must have the ability to step outside ourselves and into another’s private world. We can experience empathy at different times, in various places, and in many forms: when we get teary during a sad movie; when we feel elated or disappointed with the fortunes of our favorite team; when we enter fully into the meaning of a work of art; and when we imagine the deep hurt of another’s loss of a loved one. The term empathy has a long philosophical and psychological history. Some social and moral philosophers give this term preeminence as the basis for all human emotion.[6]
Empathy is further defined as “one human being sitting with another, being present in a time of darkness, offering a ministry of mercy while avoiding trite words of advice or comfort.”[7] Empathy attempts to understand the person’s physical, emotional, and spiritual state without making any judgment calls. It is to see the person as he or she exists. Now that we have defined what empathy is, let us now look at what empathy is not.
Empathy does not mean that difficult topics are never discussed. It does not indicate that the counselor never encourages the counselee to adopt a new path or better practices. As McMinn observes, it creates a “safe environment where [one can] feel as comfortable as possible before…[being] willing to consider his need to become psychologically naked in my presence.”[8] Before one opens up to another, trust and confidence must be built. Without empathy, such a task is impossible. Empathetic attitudes, while not condoning sin, identifies with the human condition, all of which is enshrouded in one’s awareness of God’s grace.[9] Using Rigney’s comparison of one finding another in quicksand, empathy realizes the importance and value of the person in the quicksand. It identifies with the person, realizing the dire state of the person in need. That is empathy. Empathy leads one to extend a hand to the person in need, while remaining on solid ground, to pull the person to safety. Empathy actualizes the rescue mission. Without empathy, the person would have been like the priest in Jesus’s Parable of the Good Samaritan, merely continuing one’s journey without taking time to help the quicksand’s victim. Empathy does not require losing one’s moral foundations. Rather, to assist one in need, empathy requires a strong moral mooring. Empathy that leads us not to action is not empathy at all.[10]
The Biblical Call for Empathy
Seeing that the gospel is built on the love of God, it is unsurprising that the Bible calls for Christians to exhibit empathy for their fellow man.[11] While many other biblical passages could be noted at this juncture, three particularly stand out.
In Matthew 22:39, Jesus notes that after the love of God, the greatest commandment that one could hold is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[12] He continues by saying, “All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments. Loving neighbor as oneself epitomizes the nature of empathy. To love neighbor as oneself is to put oneself in another’s shoes. It sees outside oneself to elevate the status of his or her fellow man. Jesus’s expression of neighbor does not only apply to those like oneself. Rather, as shown in the Parable of the Good Samaritan, neighbor extends to every person encountered.
Peter writes in 1 Peter 3:8, “all of you be like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble.” The Greek term translated as “sympathetic” is sympathes. The Theological Dictionary of the NT defines sympathes as one “who is affected like another by the same sufferings, impressions, emotions,” or “who suffers, experiences etc. the same as another,” later one “who has fellow-feeling, sympathy with another.”[13] While the term is translated as “sympathy,” the emotional ability to express empathy underlies one’s ability to show biblical sympathy.
In Romans 12:15-16, Paul exhorts the Roman church to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another.” Empathy is essential if one is to celebrate with the accomplishments of others and to carry the sorrow of those who weep. Yet this is another example of how empathy is foundational to exhibit Christian virtues—that is, as empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Divine Empathy Manifested
In three passages of Scriptures, Jesus himself is shown to manifest empathy for others. First, Jesus “felt compassion for [the people], because they were distressed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matt. 9:36). He then told his disciples, “The harvest is abundant, but the workers are few. Therefore, pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into his harvest” (Matt. 9:37b-38). Notice that Jesus was moved with compassion. What motivated his compassion? It was due to the empathy he felt for the people as he identified with their distressed and dejected state. Did Jesus sin due to his emotional connection with the people? Of course not! He was the sinless Son of God. Yet he was still moved with emotion as he identified with the needs of others.
Second, even though Jesus knew what the end of the story would be for Lazarus as he would raise him from the dead, Jesus was still caught in the emotions of the moment and wept (John 11:35). While the precise reasons for his weeping are unknown, more evident is his emotional connectiveness with Mary, Martha, and those who mourned the loss of Lazarus. Thus, we can still connect with the emotional state of others without giving up our theological convictions. For Lazarus’s family and friends, their sorrow turned to rejoicing due to Jesus’s empathy put into action.
Finally, the writer of Hebrews reflects on the life of Jesus. He notes that “we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin” (Heb. 4:14). Again, the word sympathes is used just as it was in 1 Peter 3:8. As was shown previously, empathy underlies a person’s sympathy and compassion. Thus, Jesus exemplified his empathy toward humanity to the point that he even faced the human experience by becoming part of it.
Conclusion
When I began chaplaincy work, a retired chaplain told me, “This is an emotionally draining job as you are helping those who are dying to find peace to cross over. You must guard your heart to keep from burning out. However, you must still maintain a sense of empathy for those you serve. Otherwise, you will never make a connection with them.” We often dissect the evangelistic and discipleship problems of the modern church. But perhaps our problem is not found in our strategies and tactic. Maybe it is much greater than that. Could it be that Christians have become so entrenched in their church work that they have forgotten what it was like to be lost? Could it be that we strive so hard to make a name for ourselves that we forgot the Name above all Names that empathized with our state? Empathy is the driving force of compassion. Without it, nothing that we do will make a connection with those in need. If I have learned anything in my year of chaplaincy work, it is that people desperately need to hear of the love and grace of our God—the God who is that “than which nothing greater can be conceived”[14]—and that this God empathizes with their state. With this in mind, if there were a real Screwtape, he would write to his demonic understudy, “No, Wormwood, empathy is not a sin. Therefore, show no empathy, and lead others to do likewise.”
